


everything I wanted

by ophelialilies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, First Times, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Romance, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, markchan, markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23525872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophelialilies/pseuds/ophelialilies
Summary: the only thing Donghyuck can be sure of is that wherever he is in this world, Mark will be there too. with his sparkling eyes, his warm smile, and those three words on his lips. everything Donghyuck has ever wanted.(or, a dance through time, the blooming of a beautiful relationship and all the firsts that they share together.)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 38
Kudos: 281
Collections: Markhyuck, My Favorite Fics





	everything I wanted

**Author's Note:**

> hello ! what do you get when you're simultaneously in the mood to write fluff, smut, domesticity, college boyfriends, winter, summer, strangers, and lovers? this, baby. this is what you get.
> 
> title comes from billie eilish's song of the same name.
> 
> writing this made me really happy and I hope it makes you happy too : )
> 
> these are hard times and it's important that we find a piece of joy in every day. if this is yours then my job is done!
> 
> find me on my twitter [ophelialilies](https://twitter.com/ophelialilies) or on curious cat [here](https://curiouscat.me/ophelialilies). feel free to send me a dm or ask me a question, I really love hearing from you all ♡♡♡
> 
> happy reading!

_One_

Rain beats down hard on the roof of Mark’s cadillac, which pulled up out the front of Donghyuck’s apartment a long time ago. When the car rolled to a stop and the engine turned off, neither of them made to move. 

Instead, they sat still, listening to the rain and radio, soft jazz floating out of the speakers. Outside it’s cold and wet, but inside Mark’s car it’s warm, the gentle hum of the heater keeping them alive. From Mark’s leather jacket and ripped jeans, to his slender hands on the wheel and converse on the pedals, Donghyuck feels no desire to leave, to step out into the downpour and away from the sight in front of him.

Mark laughs at something he’s just said – no doubt his charm catching Mark off guard like it always does – and Donghyuck watches his nose scrunch up, watches as one of his hands comes to cover his face as he giggles, light dancing in his eyes. He looks like a dork, but an adorable one at that. 

Then silence falls, and the patience Donghyuck has maintained throughout the past month – going on dates, stealing glances at each other, sharing smiles and intertwining their fingers under the table – runs out.

It’s a tense kind of silence, not comfortable like the ones they had come to share often. The rhythmic beating of the rain matches the pace of Donghyuck’s heart, beating so hard it could leap out of his chest at any moment.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Donghyuck says before he can stop himself. It’s all he’s been dreaming of for weeks and he doesn’t want his silly brain to get in the way of acting on the whims of his heart again. A look of surprise washes over Mark’s face at the interjection, but it disappears just as fast, replaced by a small smile.

“Do it, then.” he says, one eyebrow slightly cocked. It’s both a challenge and an invitation, as if he thinks Donghyuck won’t actually do it (but they both know Donghyuck will). 

Donghyuck leans over the handbrake and he can feel it digging into his stomach. It hurts but he ignores the discomfort. One hand cups Mark’s cheek (his soft, adorable cheek) and the wraps around his neck, pulling him close. He feels Mark’s own hand come to rest on his thigh, tickling at the exposed skin of his ripped skinny jeans. He takes in the sight of Mark closing his eyes, his delicate eyelashes fanning over his face as he connects their lips in the middle. 

It feels like everything Donghyuck has been waiting for, and that means it was worth it. Mark’s lips are soft and fit perfectly on his own. The kiss is tender and gentle, and Donghyuck can feel himself sighing into it as Mark’s hand on his thigh moves lower. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t notice the crack of thunder or the flash of lightning outside. He doesn’t even hear the rain anymore, nor the music. 

All he can hear is his heart, beating, and the feeling of Mark smiling against his lips. They part to catch their breaths, but Mark’s hand doesn’t leave his thigh, and Donghyuck doesn’t retreat his hand from Mark’s cheek. Instead, he thumbs over the soft skin, running over Mark’s bottom lip, pink and swollen. 

“Your lips are really warm.” Mark mumbles and Donghyuck has to crane an ear to hear him. He laughs when the strange statement registers, and Mark cracks into a goofy smile. 

“What?” he asks incredulously.

“That’s the first thing you say? After we kiss for the first time?” 

Mark nods, confused, as if he can’t see how odd a thing to say that is. 

“You’re so dumb, Mark Lee.” Donghyuck says as the hand around Mark’s neck pulls him closer again.

“Yeah, but you love it.” Mark says, a smirk on his face and no doubt in his voice. To be fair, he isn’t wrong. Donghyuck rolls his eyes in a semi-admission of defeat and mutters _“Come here,”_ before kissing him again. 

And it feels just as natural as the first, not a spark of electricity, but a blossoming of something in his chest, a seed that had been patiently waiting for the sunlight of spring to bloom into something beautiful.

_Two_

Donghyuck should have seen it coming, really. A mass of angry grey clouds and cold winds had been brewing on the horizon for days, but he had been reluctant to admit it was a storm. 

He’s curled up on the couch in front of the television, rewatching _La La Land_ for the sixteenth time when it starts. There’s a flash of light that washes the apartment in white, and Donghyuck feels it chill him to the core as if it were made of ice, despite the dancers on screen proclaiming it _Another Day of Sun_. 

His heart rate picks up, thudding erratically in his chest and the uncomfortable but familiar sensation of dread kicks in.

Then the thunder commences, loud booms and cracks that echo through the empty rooms and make the vase of flowers in the kitchen vibrate. Donghyuck all but whimpers, burying his head beneath the pillows. His eyes are closed, as if that will shut out the nightmare occurring outside. It doesn’t though, and he feels the beginnings of tears brewing behind his eyelids.

Donghyuck is trying to focus, to breathe normally ( _in, out_ ) when he feels his phone vibrate. A blind hand roams around the couch until it finds the device, dragging it under the pillow and to his face. It’s a text.

Markie (11:33:31 pm): do you want me to come over? 

Donghyuck’s heart flips in his chest, momentarily forgetting the storm.

Hyuckie (11:33:45 pm): what about Lucas?

Markie (11:24:02 pm): he said it’s okay if I need to go. it’s getting late anyway. I can be there in twenty.

Hyuckie (11:25:03 pm): are you sure?

Markie (11:25:10 pm): yes, baby. I’m sure.

Hyuckie (11:25:31 pm): okay

Donghyuck can’t really think of anything else to say, feeling almost paralysed with fear. 

He doesn’t move from the couch until he hears a knock at the door fifteen minutes later. He musters all his strength, avoiding eye contact with the windows (lest he catch a glimpse of the weather) as he moves towards the door. It opens, and the warm yellow light of the hallway spills into his dark apartment. Warmth immediately blossoms in his chest at the sight, momentarily thawing away the icy feeling from moments ago. 

Mark is wearing a purple hoodie and black skinny jeans. Even in his state Donghyuck can’t help but blush. Every time he sees Mark it’s as if he’s seeing him for the first time again. His eyes sparkle in the low light as they find Donghyuck’s.

“Hyuck...,” his voice is quiet, almost broken. 

“I’m okay,” Donghyuck tries to reassure him, but those words are cursed because every time he says them it’s as if the floodgates open. He feels a tear trace its way down his cheek as Mark steps inside the apartment, engulfing him in a tight embrace. 

They stumble backwards inside and Mark closes the door blindly, never letting Donghyuck go. He sighs into the hug; it’s warm and comforting and he feels safe for the first time this evening. He hears the squeak of Mark’s converse as he kicks them off, guiding them backwards towards the couch.

Donghyuck falls first, landing on his back as Mark crawls on top of him, covering him like a blanket (better than a blanket, Donghyuck thinks).

With his nose in the crook of Mark’s neck he breathes in the scent; cologne and cinnamon, a smell he had become so familiar with. After a moment, Mark pulls away, straining his neck awkwardly to get a better look at him.

Donghyuck laughs (a deep, content laugh that feels good, the tension slowly seeping out of his body) and suggests they move to the bedroom. Mark wiggles his eyebrows at that, and coos something along the lines of _“Oooh, Donghyuck, inviting me to your bedroom are you?”_

Donghyuck punches him in the shoulder as they shuffle to the bedroom together, hands intertwined.

The suggestion turns out to be to their advantage. They crash on Donghyuck’s double bed ungracefully in a tangle of limbs, laughing and squawking as Mark accidentally knees Donghyuck in the stomach.

They settle and Donghyuck starts to feel comfortable. His eyelids are growing heavy when Mark stiffens next to him, starting to pull away. Donghyuck panics. 

“Wait, don’t go...not yet,” he calls out, and his voice sounds hoarse. He hadn’t meant to sound so desperate. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Mark replies, his voice soothing, and through the darkness Donghyuck can still see his eyes which sparkle like starlight as they look down at him. 

As it turns out, Mark only wanted to turn on the lamps in Donghyuck’s room. When he does, they bask the space in a warm, golden light which replaces the dark shadows that had haunted it before. 

He rejoins Donghyuck on the bed, curling behind him and fitting perfectly there, as if their bodies were two halves of the same whole, made to fit into each other like yin and yang. His arm wraps protectively around Donghyuck’s waist, the other under his head, and the overwhelming sense of love that washes over Donghyuck is almost too much to bear.

“Thank you for coming.” he whispers into the night. He can feel Mark smile against the back of his neck.

“It’s okay.” Mark whispers back, his hand rubbing soothing circles into Donghyuck’s hips. “I know how terrifying storms are for you.”

Donghyuck almost wants to cry again, but this time it’s not from fear. He reaches his arm back to run his fingers through Mark’s hair. The boy giggles, a silly little laugh that has his heart doing somersaults. 

Donghyuck turns in his arms, guided by the hands on his waist, until they’re so close Donghyuck can see the speckles of brown in Mark’s eyes. Mark closes them and rubs his nose against Donghyuck’s, who can’t help but laugh. Then, Mark’s fingers perch on his chin gently pulling him into a kiss that leaves him breathless. 

And for a moment, just long enough, Donghyuck forgets the storm outside. Forgets the angry clouds and the cold rain. Forgets his fears and worries, leaving him with nothing but warmth and the feeling of Mark’s lips on his own. 

_Three_

With Mark, every first time they shared together was better than he’d had with anyone else. Their first time sleeping together was no exception. 

It went a little something like this:

Like every second Friday, they were at a rerun of _Rebel Without a Cause_ at the local cinema, the vintage art deco place near campus that Mark seemed to love so much. 

Something about him had been especially eye catching that night – whether it was his denim jacket or the earring dangling from one of his ears, or the carefully considered rips in his jeans, revealing his thighs – but for the second time in their relationship, Donghyuck felt his patience wither thin. 

Mark must have felt the same, because they sat at the back of the cinema, instead of their usual (ideal) spot in the middle. Mark’s hand had been a little too low on Donghyuck’s thigh for him to concentrate on the movie (not that he needed to, they had seen it three times already). 

Ten minutes in and he was already reaching over the seat handle, hand on Mark’s chin guiding his view away from the movie, their eyes meeting in the low light of the cinema. And he didn’t say anything, didn’t need to, because Mark already understood.

With their hands intertwined, they had hurried out of the cinema, trying their best to be quiet despite the childlike giggles that escaped the both of them the entire way out. The ticket master gave them an inquisitive look as they dashed out of the foyer and into the carpark, Mark opening the passenger door of his car for Donghyuck, saying something dumb like _“After you, sir,”._

The drive back to Mark’s place had been rushed and mostly silent, save for the sound of Donghyuck’s lips on Mark’s neck, sucking lovebites that would be there tomorrow and the day after that too. Mark had tried his best to keep his eyes on the road but Donghyuck could tell he was struggling, the little moans escaping his lips confirming his suspicions.

They parked outside Mark’s building and took the stairs two at a time, fingers interlaced and never disconnecting. With impatient hands Mark had fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Donghyuck followed him inside, closing it behind him and only to be immediately pressed against it, one of Mark’s hands by his face and the other at his waist, keeping him there.

Donghyuck couldn’t stop the surprised gasp that escaped his lips, and Mark’s smile transformed from his usual affectionate, dorky one, to something darker, full of lust. His eyes flicked down to Donghyuck’s lips, and Donghyuck bit down on them, hard, just to tease Mark. It worked, because Mark instinctively moved closer, one leg coming to rest between Donghyuck’s thighs, pinning him firmly against the door. 

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” Mark asked, tearing his eyes away from Donghyuck’s lips and back to his eyes. If it hadn’t been for the erratic beating of his heart or the heat pooling in his stomach, Donghyuck would have rolled his eyes. Scoffed, even. When would he ever say no to a kiss from Mark Lee?

“Mark, you’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the past half an hour. It’s time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind,” he retorts, and something in Mark seemed to snap, because before Donghyuck could process what was happening, their lips crashed together in a kiss that stole his breath.

It wasn’t like the ones they had shared over the months prior. Those had been gentle, tender, new, and exploring. The kind of hesitance of new lovers. 

This was different. Mark kissed like he was hungry, and Donghyuck felt it too, a burning desire that only grew in intensity every time he thought of Mark, of his pink lips, his elegant hands. 

Donghyuck ran his hands down Mark’s sides until they rested on the waistband of his jeans, fingers hooked into the belt loops. He licked his tongue along Mark’s bottom lip, asking for entrance, earning a soft moan from the boy. Mark complied easily, opening his mouth for Donghyuck to explore. As the kiss deepened, Donghyuck felt his own desperation grow, a craving to be touched, to be held, to be wanted; by Mark and only Mark. 

Eventually they pulled apart, only out of necessity to catch their breaths, and Mark kept his forehead pressed against Donghyuck’s own. 

Mark seemed to steady himself before Donghyuck did, because his lips had quickly found themselves on Donghyuck’s neck, kissing down his skin, mimicking what he had done to Mark just ten minutes earlier in the car. Donghyuck moans when Mark found a particularly sensitive spot, and Donghyuck could feel him grinning against his skin. 

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” Mark whispered from the crook of his neck. 

“Me too,” was all Donghyuck could reply, almost breathless just from Mark’s touch. 

“I want you so bad,” Mark said as Donghyuck shuddered under his touch, his hand rubbing circles into his hip bones. 

“Me too,” Donghyuck said again, sounding like a broken record. If he was being honest with himself, _broken_ was an accurate way to describe what he felt like under Mark’s gaze. 

“Let’s move to the bedroom, yeah?” Donghyuck managed to say once Mark stopped doing things to his neck. Mark only nodded before encircling his hands around Donghyuck’s waist, and asking him to jump. Donghyuck was too gone to question it, so he did, wrapping his thighs around Mark’s torso.

Mark carried him easily to his bedroom, and his strength almost _scared_ Donghyuck more than it turned him on. Almost. 

They reached the bedroom in no time, and despite his strength Mark placed Donghyuck on the mattress with tender hands. All the blood in his body rushed south when Donghyuck looked up at the sight before him; Mark, standing in the space between his own spread legs, looking down at him with a breathtaking mixture of adoration and lust. 

One of Donghyuck’s favourite pastimes was teasing Mark, and this had been no exception. He raised his hands to Mark’s belt, unbuckling it slowly without ever breaking eye contact. 

“God, I love your hands,” Mark had mumbled, a loose strand of his jet black hair falling on his forehead. Donghyuck smiled.

“Let’s put them to good use, then.”

Mark’s breath hitched in his throat as Donghyuck pulled the belt from his waist and undid his jeans, pulling them down without wasting time. Donghyuck could see the erection tenting Mark’s underwear as he ran a finger between the waistband and the soft skin of Mark’s stomach.

“Fuck,” Mark mumbled, his hand coming up to run through Donghyuck’s hair. He sighed at the sensation as he pulled Mark’s underwear down too, a blush creeping to his cheeks at the sight of Mark’s half-hard erection.

Donghyuck didn’t waste time, enjoying the element of surprise as he took Mark in his mouth in one go, basking in the delightful sound that escaped Mark’s lips, the way he threw his head back and his fingers tightened slightly in Donghyuck’s hair. “Like that, baby,” Mark panted out.

Practically swimming in the joy that the name induced, Donghyuck found a steady rhythm, fast enough to provide pleasure but slow enough to not be enough, to come slightly short of the feeling Mark was chasing.

Every time Donghyuck descended back down – his lips stretching to fit Mark’s length inside his mouth – a shudder rippled through Mark’s long frame. His breathing was growing erratic and unorganised, and Donghyuck knew if he pursued this any longer, Mark would come undone right then and there.

With a _pop_ he released Mark from his lips, his eyes meeting Mark’s own dazed, half-lidded one.

“Donghyuck...,” Mark mumbled, a small affectionate smile on his lips despite the lust in his eyes. “You are so beautiful.”

In this state, Donghyuck’s brain was in no way capable of processing the warmth blooming in his chest, the way those words made him feel, so he opted to stand, meeting Mark’s height and taking his lips in his again.

They both sighed into the kiss, rushed and desperate. Donghyuck felt Mark circle an arm around his waist, lifting him with incredible ease until his back met the bed, his head the pillows, and Mark lay beside him, a leg thrown over his waist.

Their lips never separated, chasing the feeling until neither could breath. Mark moved his mouth lower to suck at Donghyuck’s neck, intending to give him a chance to catch his breath, but it didn’t work. With every tender kiss, Donghyuck moaned, a breathless sound which grew more and more desperate. 

Mark’s hand traced a line slowly down Donghyuck’s leg, starting at his knee until he stopped at his inner thigh, Donghyuck instinctively spreading his legs open for him like honey.

To Donghyuck’s dismay, Mark pulled away from his neck to meet his eyes, a silent question in his eyes that he didn’t hesitate to put into words.

“What do you want, baby?” he asked, and it took every ounce of effort within Donghyuck to form a coherent thought, let alone, a response.

“I want you, Mark.” he breathed out, and the smile on Mark’s lips widened, a small giggle (that adorable, dorky giggle Donghyuck may or may not have fallen in love with) escaped his lips.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that, Donghyuck.” he said, and Donghyuck almost rolled his eyes with anticipation. He knew Mark wasn’t trying to tease him, he knew what he was asking, but that didn’t soothe his sense of desperation.

“I want you...” Donghyuck started, his voice stronger this time despite how he felt inside. Mark watched his lips move. “...all of you, inside me.” 

Something had flickered in Mark’s eyes, a flame that melted away any shame Donghyuck may have felt at his words. He felt Mark’s hand move lower until it came to hover over his entrance, waiting. 

“Are you ready?” Mark asked, his chest rising and falling slightly. Donghyuck nodded, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, no longer able to speak. 

He gasped, an erotic, heady moan that filled the silence of Mark’s bedroom as Mark inserted a finger. He moved carefully but with intent, slowly working Donghyuck open until he practically begged for more. Mark obeyed, his lips coming to kiss at the soft flesh of Donghyuck’s inner thigh as he inserted a second finger, and then a third, dancing on the precipice of pain and pleasure as he stretched Donghyuck open.

“Mark,” Donghyuck panted out in a one word plea, his hand coming to Mark’s wrist. Mark seemed to understand, as he sat up, pushing Donghyuck’s legs wider apart and coming to rest between his legs, his erection hovering over Donghyuck’s entrance.

Donghyuck tried not to groan at the ghost of Mark’s touch, his mind running wild with thoughts of what it will feel like to finally have Mark inside of him.

“Mark,” he said again, and that was all it took for Mark’s patience to snap, for him to place his hands gently on Donghyuck’s waist and slowly push inside of him.

At the feeling both of them moaned, two sounds which tangled intertwined in the room’s silence. With the golden sunlight of the setting sun on his pale skin, Mark looked ethereal. With Mark on top of him, inside of him, Donghyuck felt like he was complete, as if a piece of him he didn’t know he’d been missing was found. 

Mark fell forward , bracing himself with arms on either side of Donghyuck’s chest, the loose curls of his hair tickling at Donghyuck’s neck as he started to pull out, only to drive in again. Donghyuck whimpered, the sound reaching Mark’s ears and causing him to look up. His eyes watched Donghyuck’s face carefully as he drove into him again, and Donghyuck didn’t try to soften the whimper which escaped him again, drunk on the way it seemed to stir something deep inside of Mark. 

“Fuck, Donghyuck.” Mark murmured, his pace quickening, growing more intense. Each time their hips met sent Donghyuck further and further down, chasing the elusive tendrils of pleasure, ecstasy. 

Curious, Mark looked up again, kissing at the sweet, sensitive spot of Donghyuck’s neck as he continued to thrust into him, and Donghyuck could tell he was listening for any and every sound Donghyuck made. An idea flickered to mind, a game of sorts, his favourite kind.

Despite how good it felt, the rising sense of a climax nearing, Donghyuck kept his noises as quiet whimpers. He wanted to see how far Mark would go, see what he would do to make Donghyuck come undone. He had the suspicion that it would be to great lengths. 

After a few moments Mark caught on, his movements slowing as he pushed himself up to get a better look at Donghyuck. Donghyuck rolled his head to meet Mark’s gaze, batting his eyelashes innocently.

“Something tells me you can be louder than that,” Mark said, his voice deep, rough, and _oh._ Donghyuck had expected many things, but not that. That was even better than he had imagined.

“Oh yeah?” Donghyuck asked, cocking his head to the side, his voice light. He was enjoying every moment of this. Mark ran his tongue over his lips and nodded.

“I want to hear you scream,” Mark said, and Donghyuck felt all the blood in his body rush south. “What can I do to make that happen?” he asked, and Donghyuck saw the quirk of his lips; a smile. He was enjoying this too. That only egged Donghyuck on. 

“Mm, telling you would be no fun,” Donghyuck decided, in the name of the game. “You’re going to have to figure that out for yourself, baby.” he said, spreading his legs teasingly and watching Mark with a look of expectancy. 

He could see Mark’s chest rising and falling, his eyes dark as he thought. Then, catching Donghyuck by surprise, he reached down and flipped Donghyuck over, so that his stomach collided with the bedsheets. Mark managed to move him with both ease and tenderness, a quality of Mark’s that was growing increasingly attractive. Donghyuck let out a surprised gasp and he heard Mark chuckle from behind him, his knees now on either side of Donghyuck’s legs.

“How do you like this, baby?” Mark asked, running his hands along Donghyuck’s back until they came to rest on the curve of his arse. Donghyuck knew that he very much liked this, but he didn’t want to reveal that yet. The game was still on.

So instead, he gave Mark yet another challenge: “Let’s find out.”

It didn’t take them long to adjust, Donghyuck moving to his elbows and knees, Mark’s legs between his. 

“Let’s see how this feels,” Mark said, and it was bait, a trap, but Donghyuck was too busy playing his own game to realise. And so he fell for it.

“Yeah, let’s see–” he was completely cut off by his own cry of pleasure as Mark entered him without warning, rendering him completely unable to mask the errotic sound that escaped his mouth. Mark giggled. _Giggled._

“So I was right,” he said, and Donghyuck could hear the smugness in his voice, loved it, hated it. It felt so good, even better than the previous position, the new angle meaning that every thrust inside of him had the head of Mark’s length hitting his prostate, sending ripples of euphoria through his body. And so, Donghyuck gave up on his game, letting Mark win (although, if he was honest then that was always his intention). 

Mark moved inside him again, finding a rhythm until he was fucking Donghyuck senseless, screams and moans escaping his lips, no longer held back. Mark’s own pants and groans filled the room too, Donghyuck’s name tumbling from his lips almost like a prayer with every jolt forward. 

Mark collapsed forward, and Donghyuck gasped when his hand came to wrap around Donghyuck’s own length, already dripping with precum despite being untouched. The combined sensation of Mark both on and inside of him was too much, and he found his own orgasm nearing at an alarmingly rapid pace. 

“Mark,” Donghyuck moaned out, again at loss for words but Mark understood his warning, kissing at the skin of his lower back, permission to come. With a few more strokes and thrusts, Donghyuck felt euphoria rip through his body. The pleasure came in waves, washing over him, and he felt like he was flying. A desperate moan escaped his lips as it did, and he felt Mark tense behind him, thrusting deep inside of him and groaning as he came too. 

They stayed like that for a moment, panting and sweaty, Mark’s hands coming to encircle his waist as he gently pulled out. Then, Mark guided Donghyuck into his arms, and they fell ungracefully in a heap on the bed, a tangle of limbs and breathless kisses.

They were quiet for a moment, catching their breaths, coming down from their highs, when Donghyuck felt the overwhelming urge to say those three little words. The thought came out of nowhere, catching him by surprise. 

He didn’t though; it was too soon, his mind urged (but his heart disagreed). The thought was lost when Mark leaned forward, rubbing their noses together and sighing under his breath.

“I love you,” he said after a moment, and Donghyuck’s heart stilled in his chest. Because it _was_ too soon, but the intensity with which those words resonated with his heart said otherwise. 

“I love you, too,” Donghyuck said back, a hand on Mark’s jaw so that they could meet eyes. There was a smile on his lips, silly and lopsided, the same goofy one that was there when he giggled. Donghyuck could feel tears welling in his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, they weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of happiness.

_Four_

Warm sunlight tickles at Donghyuck’s eyelids, filtering through the parted blinds and casting the white bed in a golden hue. The morning light isn’t the only thing that’s warm; there’s a boy, all white skin and dark hair, lying beside him, soft breath fanning over Donghyuck’s head. 

Donghyuck tries his best to stay still, to not wake Mark, but he can’t resist the smile that comes to his lips as he remembers last night. Two bodies, coming together as one, at their most vulnerable, but together. They lie in that same tangle of limbs now, as if somewhere along the way their souls had become intertwined.

Donghyuck must have failed, must have smiled too wide against Mark’s chest, because Mark’s breathing changes and he sighs.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Donghyuck hums as he pulls back, getting a good look at Mark, all bed head and hands rubbing at his eyes. 

“Morning,” Mark mumbles back, still half asleep. He looks adorable, bare skin tangled in the sheets, his eyes now open and glinting in the morning light. Donghyuck must be smiling because Mark smiles too, laughing out confused _“What?”_ as he searches Donghyuck’s face.

“Nothing.” Donghyuck says, and it’s not a lie. He really has no idea what he was smiling about.

“Aw, you’re blushing like a rose.” Mark coos, his hand reaching to cup Donghyuck cheeks, which are admittedly very warm.

“Shhh,” Donghyuck replies lamely, opting to quiet Mark the other way he knows how; with his lips. Mark hums into the delicate kiss and Donghyuck pulls away when he feels enough time has passed for Mark to have forgotten his embarrassment. Except, Mark has a look on his face and now it’s his turn to be confused.

“What?” Donghyuck asks.

“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing that I heard today,” he says, as if you can just say things like that and not expect Donghyuck to have a heart attack. He mock-slaps Mark’s arm, earning a giggle from the other, and curses: _“Mark Lee, it’s too early in the morning for you to be this cheesy.”_

Except his body language says otherwise, gives away how he really feels. Donghyuck collapses on Mark’s chest, soft and bare and warm, and snuggles into the crook of his neck.

“You make me so happy,” he mumbles into the skin, almost hoping Mark doesn’t hear him. He feels Mark’s cheeks contort into a smile.

“You make _me_ so happy,” Mark whispers back, and Donghyuck feels warmth in his chest, happiness in his heart. It feels good to be honest, for once. To not have to conceal his feelings, because he knows Mark feels it too. He can see it in the way he looks at him now, the way he looked at him last night. 

“You make me feel alive,” Donghyuck speaks again, drunk on the truth. “For the first time in a long time I feel like I can breathe.”

Mark stills beneath him, a hand instinctively coming to run through Donghyuck’s hair, before lifting his chin gently so that they’re face to face. Despite the morning, his eyes are sparkling like the night’s sky as they search Donghyuck’s. 

“Donghyuck,” he says after a heavy moment passes. “I love you.”

And it’s the second time he’s said it, but it knocks the air out of Donghyuck’s chest all the same. His mind whirs to a stop but his heart only beats harder, the butterflies in his stomach erratic.

Breathless, he says, “I love you, too.”

_Five_

The sound of children laughing and birds chirping reaches Donghyuck’s ears. He can hear the gentle stream of a lake, can feel the grass tickling at his bare feet which poke out beyond the picnic blanket. 

He inhales, exhales, the air sweet with the thick scent of flowers in bloom. 

There’s a pile of sandwiches and fruit, a woven basket and a bouquet lying between him and Mark, who sits cross legged and strums absentmindedly at his acoustic guitar. He’s humming under his breath, barely audible if Donghyuck’s ears hadn’t trained themselves over the last few years to hear any and every sound Mark makes. 

_It's hell on Earth and the city’s on fire_

_Inhale, in hell there's heaven_

_There’s a bull and a matador duelling in the sky_

_Inhale, in hell there's heaven_

Donghyuck doesn’t need to ask, he knows it’s _Solo_ , Mark’s favourite song, the one his fingers would instinctively strum without thought. Donghyuck smiled, propping himself up on his elbows.

Mark is a vision. His soft hair, unstyled today, falls in his eyes, ripples gently in the lazy sunday breeze. It’s spring but there’s still a chill in the air, and the thin singlet under Mark’s hoodie captures that contradiction perfectly. 

Donghyuck watches his collarbones, exposed by the falling neckline. They look like they’re carved from marble, and Donghyuck would believe they were if someone told him so. 

Behind Mark, the sun is high in a blue sky, only a few fluffy clouds to be found. The scattered trees sway gently in the breeze, their leaves casting speckles of light and shadow across the park. There are people nearby in every direction, some reading, others talking, laughing, basking in the midday sun.

There’s a sense of ease, a deep peace that Donghyuck feels too. Although he has the sneaking suspicion that it isn’t because of their surroundings. 

“You know,” Mark starts, interrupting his own singing. His fingers continue to strum the soft chords. “I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror.” he admits, and Donghyuck’s mind is cast back to a fond time that feels so long ago. He chuckles.

“And you still managed to mess it up?” he asks, voice incredulous, never missing an opportunity to tease his boyfriend. Mark had long become immune, though, so he rolls his eyes with no real annoyance, a dumb smile on his lips. 

“Yeah.” he says resolutely. They meet eyes, and there are butterflies in Donghyuck’s stomach, just as fluttery and nervous as the day he first saw Mark. As if that were not so long ago. As if many tender kisses, shared glances, kind words, and soft touches hadn’t been shared since then. 

Donghyuck sits up, cross-legged, opposite Mark and reaches out instinctively, pushing the stray locks of Mark’s hair off his face. Mark gives him a look, half perplexed, half fond as he leans into Donghyuck’s touch. 

“Your hair was in your face,” Donghyuck reasons. “I moved it so I could see you better.”

“Mm,” Mark hums through his smile. “You love my face.”

“Sure, Mark. Whatever you need to tell yourself.” Donghyuck lies through his teeth, earning a laugh from his boyfriend. Donghyuck rises to his knees and leans forward until his thighs, exposed for the first time since last year by his shorts, press against the chords of Mark’s guitar, silencing them. Before Mark can protest, Donghyuck takes his face in both his hands, and kisses him.

At first Mark doesn’t respond, surprised, but it disappears as fast as it came and soon they’re melting against each other, warm and sweet like honey. 

Around him, Donghyuck can hear children laughing, and the sweet sound fills his ears as a warmth like summer blooms in his chest.

When they pull apart, as always only out of necessity, they stay close, still chasing the proximity, the comfort of each other’s touch. Reluctantly, Donghyuck rolls back on his heels until he’s cross-legged again, this time much closer to Mark. As he does so, the chords are released from his touch and ready to be played again.

Mark doesn’t miss a beat, this time strumming something different, something else. Donghyuck smiles when he recognises the song, and Mark watches for his reaction, smiling too when he finds it.

_You don’t know babe,_

_When you hold me,_

_And kiss me slowly,_

_It’s the sweetest thing._

_And it don’t change,_

_If I had it my way,_

_You would know that you are._

Donghyuck sings the lyrics to the song, to _their_ song, as Mark strums the chords. He doesn’t spare the words a second thought; they flow from his lips with ease, having done so many times before. 

Except Mark isn’t looking at the strings, or at his fingers plucking them. He’s looking at Donghyuck, watching him with the most intense, melting look in his eye. There’s a pretty shade of rouge dusting his cheeks, and blushing like that, he looks just like the roses that surround them. 

Mark has told him many times how he loves his voice. When he sings to himself in the kitchen, Mark wraps his arms around his waist, pulls him closer, asks him not to stop. When he hums absentmindedly as they walk through the city, hands intertwined, Mark steals glances at him, thinking Donghyuck doesn’t notice. 

And Mark is looking at him like that now, such an intense myriad of emotions plain as day on his face. It’s overwhelming, the way Mark wears his heart on his sleeve, the way he allows Donghyuck to see through him, to read him like a book.

A tapping on his shoulder pulls Donghyuck’s gaze away from Mark’s eyes, his breath hitching in surprise. He turns his side to find a small boy, no older than four, looking at him with wide, hesitant eyes. Donghyuck feels himself smile instantly. 

“Hello,” he says, his voice soft, not wanting to scare the child. A nervous smile breaks out on the little boy’s small face before he speaks.

“Hello, Mr,” he says, hands behind his back, swinging with nerves. His words are slightly slurred and he struggles with some of the consonants, and that’s when Donghyuck notices he only has two teeth. Donghyuck smiles, encouraging the child. 

“I just wanted to tell you that you have a pretty voice.” 

“Thank you,” Donghyuck replies, his smile widening in surprise. Next to him, Mark chuckles, looking between the two of them. The child looks like he has something else to say. At the same time as he opens his mouth, a young woman runs toward them, an embarrassed smile on her face.

“I’m so sorry,” she says when she reaches them, crouching to the height of the child and taking his hand in hers.

“No, it’s alright.” Mark tells her, and he looks so adorable with the remnants of a fading blush on his face replaced by a warm smile. The child turns to his mother and whispers something in her ear. Then, she says, “He has something he wants to tell you.”

The little boy looks nervous again, his mother rubbing soothing circles on his arm. Donghyuck smiles, whispering an encouraging _“Go on,”._

“You and your husband are very beautiful.” the little boy finally speaks. “When I grow up I want to be happy like you.”

Donghyuck feels as though the air has been knocked out of his lungs, and for a moment he’s speechless.

“Thank you very much,” Mark says after a moment, his voice sweet, the way it always sounds before he giggles. It gives Donghyuck a moment to process the little boy’s words. 

He takes the boy’s hands in his, and makes him a promise: _“You will.”_

And the giddy grin that breaks out on the boy’s face makes Donghyuck’s heart soar. He feels Mark intertwine their fingers. 

Then, the mother is thanking them, apologising again, and walking away with the boy, who giggles and hops the whole way back to their picnic blanket. 

Both he and Mark are silent for a moment, watching them go, the sound of the guitar gone and replaced by the beating of Donghyuck’s heart in his chest. He turns to Mark, their hands still intertwined. 

“Husband, huh?” he says, and it was meant to sound like a joke, but his voice reveals something else. How much that single word affected him. How it made the butterflies in his stomach take flight. 

“Husband,” Mark says back, equally breathless, seemingly trapped in thought. They stare at each other for a moment, Mark rubbing circles on the back of Donghyuck’s hand. There’s something sparkling in his eyes again, something vulnerable and light as they search Donghyuck’s. He knows that Mark will find it there in his eyes, too. 

“Husband.” Mark repeats, with more finality this time. Somehow it shifts things, breaks the surface tension between them, and then they are giggling like lovestruck idiots. As they do, the intoxicating sound of Mark’s laughter fills his ears, and for once his mind is uncharacteristically silent. That is, save for one word, repeating over and over like a prayer.

_Husband._

_Six_

Donghyuck winces as his keys jangle against the front door. Normally it wouldn’t be an issue – the loud noise resonating throughout the house as the door fell open – if it weren’t for the sight that greets him as soon as it does.

His eyes immediately fall to one of the couches in the open living room. Or more specifically, they fall to its two inhabitants. One is his husband, curled up on his side in a grey shirt and trackpants, eyes closed and breathing softly. The other inhabitant is their three year old daughter, her little body nestled in the curve of Mark’s own, held close as she sleeps, too. 

A feeling Donghyuck could never put to words washes over him with utmost intensity. All he knows is that it’s sweet, intoxicating, and it makes him feel like he’s falling. Again. Falling harder and harder, every day, with every moment like this.

At the sound of his unceremonious entrance, their daughter glances up, her little button nose scrunching just like Mark’s does as she rubs her eyes.

 _“Daddy?”_ she whisper-calls across the space, as Donghyuck closes the door behind him and puts down his bag. Donghyuck nods, trying his best to be quiet, but his shoes click along the ground as he nears the couch. His daughter sends him a disapproving look, and he struggles against the urge to laugh. 

_“Shh, daddy’s sleeping._ ” she reprimands him, and Donghyuck ducks his head in forgiveness. A small giggle escapes her as he reaches down, picking her small frame up easily and holding her to his chest.

“It’s time for bed, Mrs.” he tells her as they walk away from the living room and down the hallway, towards the bedrooms. As they do, one of her hands plays with Donghyuck’s golden curls, the other with his tie. “You’re up too late.”

“It’s daddy’s fault,” she whines as they enter her room, all pinks and blues, the walls covered in Donghyuck’s watercolour paintings, the floor with instruments. 

“What happened?” Donghyuck asks, although he can already guess the answer. 

“We were reading, and then he fell asleep!” she exclaims with a dramatic flair, and he wonders for a moment where she got that from. She crawls beneath the sheets and Donghyuck places a gentle kiss to her forehead, tucking her stray dark curls behind her ear. 

“He’s very tired at the moment, munchkin.” Donghyuck tells her, and his heart sinks a little as she does. The image of Mark with his dark circles and tired sighs comes to mind. All the late nights spent at the studio, the blisters on his fingers, the piles of lyric sheets accumulating on their bedside table. “Work is going really well at the moment, but it means dad is working a lot. He’s very tired.”

“I know, I know,” she singsongs, placing a small kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek. He can feel its warmth even when he pulls away.

“Goodnight, darling,” he says as he pulls the door closed. “I’m off to take care of my other baby.”

As the door clicks shut he hears her chuckle. With a smile on his lips he retraces his steps back to their living room. Mark is still curled up on the couch when he reaches it, although his arms are hanging off the edge, as if he was reaching out for someone. 

Donghyuck toes his shoes off, sliding them aside. Next comes his tie, and he sighs as the constricting feeling disappears, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Then, ungracefully, he crawls into the space Mark has created, assuming the familiar position of the little spoon.

As he does, Mark shifts, his breathing changing. He sighs, and Donghyuck knows the nuances of all of Mark’s noises, so he knows he’s now awake.

 _“Mmm?”_ Mark hums, the sound muffled by Donghyuck’s neck where Mark nuzzles his face. _“Donghyuck?”_

Mark’s arm wraps around his waist, pulling him closer. He places a tender kiss on Donghyuck’s neck, and Donghyuck intertwines their fingers, sighing in content.

“Shh, darling,” Donghyuck whispers. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mmm.” Mark hums backs and Donghyuck fights the urge to laugh. Mark’s breathing is already heavy, a telltale sign that he’s fallen back to sleep already. 

Donghyuck settles, revelling for a moment in the sheer warmth radiating from Mark. It hits him just how tired he is. Drinks with Jaemin after work had gone for longer than he anticipated (silly of him, really, because they always did with Jaemin). He had intended to be home for dinner, desperate for a night in with Mark and their daughter, the kind of domesticity he craved often these days. Maybe it was the mental weight that came with being a psychologist, or maybe it was that the hours they spent apart became more and more painful each day. He really was in love. 

At last his thoughts settled, and he started to drift off to sleep. Behind his eyes danced an image; a dorky smile, a scrunched nose. Whether it was his daughter’s or his husbands he didn’t know. Either way, it brought a warmth to his heart, as sleep finally claimed him with her delicate hands. 

_Seven_

Despite all the flowers, the piano echoing across the hall, the laughter, chatter and excited voices from the hundreds of rows of people, all Donghyuck can see is Mark. 

Mark, gorgeous in his suit. Mark, with his warm, sparkling eyes. Mark, and the silver band around his finger, glinting in the spring sunlight, matching the one on Donghyuck’s own finger.

“I love you,” Donghyuck hears himself whisper across the space between them.

The world comes to a stop as Mark whispers back, _“I love you, too.”_

Looking back, it was the soft jingling of a bell as the door opened that started it all.

Brown paper tickles his hands as Donghyuck folds it gently around the cover of the book, sealing the package with string before handing it to the customer. She gives him a quick smile and a _thank you_ before hurrying off, and Donghyuck sighs. 

Soft jazz floats from the speakers of the bookstore, filling his ears with its notes and nostalgic tones. Donghyuck can’t help the fond smile that comes to his lips as he scans the shop, the place he had come to spend so many hours after class, pouring over his love for books with customers or recommending the best stories to curious, excited children. The bookstore had, in a way, become a second home. 

Donghyuck is pulled rather abruptly from his thoughts when his eyes meet another pair of eyes over the top of a bookshelf. They’re wide and had definitely been looking for a while, judging from the way they dart away when Donghyuck meets them. That’s when Donghyuck notices the swept back dark hair on the boy’s head, the circular metal glasses which frame his soft eyes (which are now avoiding Donghyuck’s stare). From the few centimetres of his face that Donghyuck can see, he looks cute. 

It’s like a dream, an unrealistic fantasy that Donghyuck might have conjured up out of boredom instead of studying. Part of him wants to pinch himself just to check he isn’t daydreaming. 

It’s quiet, so he wanders away from the counter, toward the _Classics_ section where the pretty boy is standing. When he reaches it, Donghyuck leans against one of the shelves, and asks, _“Hi, how can I help you?”_

The boy turns at the question and Donghyuck is immediately glad that he asked. The boy is definitely cute, attractive actually, from his oversized grey hoodie to his ripped blue skinny jeans, the hightop converse on his feet. He smiles, and Donghyuck thinks he can see a blush on his cheeks. 

“Uh, yeah! I’m looking for _The Great Gatsby_ , actually.” the boy says, and his voice is deeper than Donghyuck expected. And Gatsby? Arguably one of Donghyuck’s favourite books. He feels the beginnings of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. 

He smiles, knowing that it’s brighter than the one he gives most customers, but he can’t really contain the peculiar feeling emerging inside of him. “Of course!” he exclaims, dropping to his knees to reach the lowest shelf. 

It takes him no time to retrieve the book. He stands, but the boy must have moved closer because now they’re almost touching. “Here,” Donghyuck says with a smile, and as the boy takes it from him, their hands brush lightly. 

“Thank you,” the boy responds with a smile that matches the one on Donghyuck’s lips. It’s then that he decides the boy is just about the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen. 

“I’m Donghyuck, by the way,” he says, extending his hand. The boy takes it.

“I’m Mark,” and Donghyuck watches the way he rubs his neck shyly with his other hand. 

“Gatsby is one of my favourite books. Have you read it before?” Donghyuck asks, changing the subject to avoid confronting the uncharacteristic nerves arriving in his stomach. 

“Yeah! It’s actually my favourite, too,” the boy – Mark – reveals through a giggle. A _giggle._ Donghyuck’s heart stutters in his chest. “I just moved here and I wasn’t able to bring all my books with me.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” he says, with genuine compassion. There was nothing like the loss of old, well-loved books. “Where did you move from?” Donghyuck asks, curious.

“Canada!” the boy says, and it strikes Donghyuck thinks that it fits. Then he hears the voice of his manager calling him from across the shop. He turns with disappointment to find a minor queue forming at the counter, a queue that he is supposed to be attending to.

His heart sinks as he turns back to Mark with an apologetic look on his face. He’s met with warm, understanding eyes.

“Sorry, I have to go-” Donghyuck says, but he stops when Mark blurts out.

“Would you want to, like – I mean, if you’re not busy later… we could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have much time?” he asks, stumbling slightly over his words, and Donghyuck watches in real time as a pretty shade of red blooms on his cheeks, a warmth that easily matches the feeling in his own chest. 

“I’d love to!” Donghyuck chirps, almost immediately, his heart beating almost out of control. “I finish in an hour,” he says as he turns, hurrying back toward the counter despite every inch of him that wants to stay. As he does, he sends Mark a small wave, watching the eyes behind his metal glasses crinkle as he smiles back. 

_I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met._

Donghyuck can’t be sure if he thought it or said it. If they were his words or Mark’s. Whether he’s in the passenger seat of Mark’s cadillac or the park near their apartment. The living room of their home or the vintage cinema near campus. The altar of a church or the counter of a bookstore.

The only thing he can be sure of is that wherever he is in this world, Mark will be there too. With his sparkling eyes, his warm smile, and those three words on his lips. Everything Donghyuck has ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> my 'la la land' agenda, 'retro neozone boyfriends' agenda, and 'cute and in-love dads' agenda all came out in this fic. but it made me happy, so : ) 
> 
> also hyuck sung 'best part' on vlive the other day and it's my favourite song, so I had to include it here !!
> 
> please leave kudos and comments if you liked this, it makes me really happy and motivated to write more hehe
> 
> as always, thank you for reading !
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ophelialilies) & [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ophelialilies) ♡


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